I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
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