If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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