So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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