using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
