I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Ladies don't puke and tell
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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