Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
