my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
