are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
