know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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