please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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