So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
