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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Then you guys just all showered together...?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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