got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
