Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Will exercising make me less horny?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
