i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
