well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
