I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
