There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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