kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
