her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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