Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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