i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize
