You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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