I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
