ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
