dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
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Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
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We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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