fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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