he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
We are two peas in an std pod
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
