He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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