The brown eye won't let me do that either.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
