He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
