Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
