Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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