is your mom at the bar?
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
