I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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