Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
