You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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