it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
