I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
