Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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