We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
