census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
