hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He's a Shit stain on my heart
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
