I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.