I thought spray tan was a myth
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.