$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just want to make out with him forever
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.