a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat