I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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