the new term for farting is butt boxing.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
