Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
