i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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