okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
