Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
