Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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