you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
i need some magic done to my vagina
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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