Someone shit on the floor
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Randomize
