its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
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Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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