I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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