I CAN MOONWALK!
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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