Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
