garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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