Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
