Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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