so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
