I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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