I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
