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I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
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